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Monday, August 3, 2009

Lessons on Love by Dimitri the Douche

There once was a girl named Olga. Olga, a very "elegant" woman, was having drinks with her friends when Dimitri, a real stud, approached her.
Dimitri: You are so very elegant
Olga: No
Dimitri: You are incredibly cute.
Olga: No
Dimitri: I'm a catch.
Olga: No.
Dimitri: I realize you may not be used to such a fine man approaching you, but you have the opportunity to be with me.
Olga: Here's my business card. (big mistake)
Here are the voicemails that resulted in Olga shooing this man away by giving him her real number:

Lesson #1: No does not really mean no. If you are trying to pick a girl up and she's not having it, just assume it's because she doesn't want to make her friends jealous. She must be considerate and a good friend. Try harder.

Lesson #2: Explain to her what an opportunity it is to be seen with you. You are a real catch. Tell her this. Repeatedly.

Lesson #3: If she still resists, assume it is because she was abused as a child and has father issues. Tell her this is the reason she is not into you. It can only make her like you more.

Lesson #4: If you are finally getting the feeling it is not going to happen, tell her you do not go after timid women and that she is a game-player and you are no game show host. By playing hard to get, you can only make things better.


  1. Hello:

    I'm a member of the "Toronto Real Men", the world's only anti-metrosexual organization, run by "Dimitri The Lover", aka "The Prophet". In the same way that John Connor fights the machines for survival of humanity in “The Terminator”, The Prophet has dedicated his life to fight "Metrosexuality" for the survival of masculinity. He is a modern-day Rasputin ... a real-life Tyler Durden.

    Here is the web site for the "Toronto Real Men": TORONTO REAL MEN ... if you go to the section in the menu on the left titled "Meeting Announcements", then click on "August", you will understand everything he is trying to do. Also, if you click on the link on the left titled "Media Centre", there's both a radio interview and an appearance in a documentary so you can hear The Prophet speak.

    Also, everyone knows that women in Toronto are stuck up and play games. Here is how The Prophet deals with a single woman that likes him but still refuses to cough up her number ... he hands her this flyer: DIMITRI THE LOVER’S FLYER

    Here is a link to some animations that have been banned by YouTube but give you a great indication of The Prophet's philosophy: DIMITRI THE LOVER’S BANNED ANIMATIONS ... the "Crucifixion of Dimitri" represents how he has suffered for all men.

    Finally, here is The Prophet's main web site: DIMITRI THE LOVER’S WEB SITE

    We heard at the last meeting that his Hollywood film (the one that the producers of Borat and Bruno created) is completed and should be released in the next few months. Then the world will know the truth about what The Prophet is doing to rid the world of feminism once and for all.



  2. Real men aren't from Toronto.