Lessons on Love by Dimitri the Douche

There once was a girl named Olga. Olga, a very "elegant" woman, was having drinks with her friends when Dimitri, a real stud, approached her.
Dimitri: You are so very elegant
Olga: No
Dimitri: You are incredibly cute.
Olga: No
Dimitri: I'm a catch.
Olga: No.
Dimitri: I realize you may not be used to such a fine man approaching you, but you have the opportunity to be with me.
Olga: Here's my business card. (big mistake)
Here are the voicemails that resulted in Olga shooing this man away by giving him her real number:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=c06pinaKl8o

Lesson #1: No does not really mean no. If you are trying to pick a girl up and she's not having it, just assume it's because she doesn't want to make her friends jealous. She must be considerate and a good friend. Try harder.

Lesson #2: Explain to her what an opportunity it is to be seen with you. You are a real catch. Tell her this. Repeatedly.

Lesson #3: If she still resists, assume it is because she was abused as a child and has father issues. Tell her this is the reason she is not into you. It can only make her like you more.

Lesson #4: If you are finally getting the feeling it is not going to happen, tell her you do not go after timid women and that she is a game-player and you are no game show host. By playing hard to get, you can only make things better.